It seems odd to pair a term as complex and fluid as "love" with the one-dimensional term "formula", but it sometimes helps to identify and absorb a new concept or idea (especially something so vast and completely emotion-driven) to something tangible, something our analytical side of the brain can comprehend.
Self love is not something really definable - it means so many things to so many people. And the beautiful thing is, not one of us is wrong. There is no one right way to feel and express the love of self, but there are three areas that can pinch us off from allowing infinite love and abundance to flow in its entirety to us.
Our emotions are our biggest indicator when we are not lining up with our true self. Their purpose is to signal to us when something is in or out of alignment with who we are. It's the most amazing gift that we have emotions, but often they're seen as annoying, inconvenient, or erratic. How many of us wake up in a bad mood and decided that our day will be bad, just based off the one thought we had when we awoke that determined our today-mood? When we are aware of what doesn't feel good to us, we can begin to change our thoughts toward that which is wanted - a better feeling, some perspective, compassion and empathy, etc.
Once we tune in and recognize times when we feel bad, we can immediately begin to change our thoughts to something empowering, positive, and joyful. By doing so, we become aware of the things that make us unhappy, that don't serve us - and we begin to be deliberate in our choices and decision making.
"You can control the way you feel because you have the ability to focus"
Unconditional love is just that - love that has no conditions. Our spirit loves us unconditionally. It's not relevant what happened in the past or what not-so-great decisions we may have made. Your spirit is only ever in the NOW moment. It's us as humans that keep drudging up the past and placing judgement on things we did which we may not be particularly proud of. Release yourself from all past wrongs, forgive yourself for not having the perspective at the time to choose differently, and only try to be your best self right now. It's all we can do not to keep ourselves chained up in the prison know as our past.
"All forgiveness is self-forgiveness, because it releases your resistance"
It's time we give up playing the shame game and eliminate self-criticism. We must stop comparing ourselves to others (because we know by now that nothing is all it's 'posted' to be right?), and start being kinder to ourselves. We have trained ourselves out of worthiness, because we have been conditioned to look outside of ourselves for it, but, like happiness, it can only be found within. So, If we look for evidence of wellbeing - we will always find it. If we get into the state of feeling love and gratitude, we will begin to turn the lens of love on ourselves.
"No one can give you worthiness and nobody can prevent you from it"
Let's open ourselves up to the abundant love the Universe is constantly flowing to us. Let's release our resistance and tap into our spirit that is always guiding us in the right direction. And let's embrace our emotions, practice forgiveness, and eliminate self-criticism.